someone_maybe

of little importance
Ad 2:
2002-11-17 04:03:47 (UTC)

is there anybody out there, does anybody care, are the people really there

where am i
lost again
turned around
and so confused


not quite disoriented
i know how i got here


FEAR OF SELF
I’m alone, again
Trapped inside my mind
With nowhere to turn

I sit here wondering
How I ended up here
What path did I stumble on?

And these thoughts inside won’t go away
No matter what I do, I can’t escape
So this fear of self keeps building up
It would be much easier to just give up

Why can’t I be
Blind to it all
To all the pain I feel?

I don’t understand
What’s going on
But I wish that it would end

And these thoughts inside won’t go away
No matter what I do, I can’t escape
So this fear of self keeps building up
It would be much easier to just give up

Don’t even know what’s wrong
There’s just so much
Racing through my head

I just can’t deal
With this anymore
Afraid of what I’ll do

And these thoughts inside won’t go away
No matter what I do, I can’t escape
So this fear of self keeps building up
It would be much easier to just give up

I reach for help
No one pulls me up
I’m sliding further down

If I search your eyes
Please don’t look away
Show me the truth that I once knew

The truth that I once knew

The truth that I once knew


HELP
I don’t understand exactly what’s going on. I just know
that it’s not good.
If I could write down what it is, I’d tell you. I promise
I would.
So here’s my poor attempt at explaining. I’d do better if
I could.

I know that I’m confused inside. But that’s not what I’m
talking about.
My paths have become twisted. I am completely filled with
doubt.
I need someone to read me. To help me figure it all out.

Everytime I think I find that someone I’m wrong. How many
wrongs before I’m right?
Will I have to spend tonight alone in thought? Well, it’s
just like every other night.
I’ve made it by myself thus far. But I know I’m losing
this fight.

It’s times like these that tear me up. When I fight with
me inside.
I argue with and betray myself. Now I just want to hide.
I’ve almost come out on top many times. You don’t realize
how hard I’ve tried.

But I always fail, it never turns out well. So I don’t
know what to do.
I’ve tried everything I can think of. And now I turn to
you.
Most everyone else has come and left. Will you be the one
to be true?

I know now I can’t do it alone. I know you’re trying to
help me through this.
And I get afraid and try to push you away. But the thing I
don’t see is:
That I can shove as hard as I want. But it’s me you won’t
let me diss.

So show me who I really am. Show me what you see.
Don’t let me change myself for anyone. Allow me to be me.
Maybe someday I’ll accept myself. Maybe I’ll finally let
myself be.


k, so you can quit freaking out about what i wrote now. as
is obvious by the capitalization, i didn't write it spur of
the moment.

and i'm not going to do anything drastic or stupid. so
quit assuming that when you read it.

try reading it as one whole poem, despite the fact that the
first one is a song. just try it and then maybe my
thoughts will make a little more sense to you.

wherever you are.

-s_m


Ad:2