Soul Searcher
2001-08-17 13:13:19 (UTC)

August 17th, 2001

I think that I do not love Josh anymore. When I look at
him I just don't feel anything really. I mean sometimes I
feel bad because of Joshua, but I feel disgust at the way
he has treated me for so long and why should I have to deal
with that. I deserve the best, right? I mean one day he
says he is trying and the next day he just turns around and
does something really stupid. Maybe Joshua and I should
just get our own place and move on with out lives without
Josh, but that's what sucks about having a baby. I will
forever have to look at Josh's face and see all the people
he is with. There is no healthy way around that. i could
have someone else drop Joshua off and pick him up, yeah,
but I would rather have communication with someone who is a
huge influence in my son's life. I just hate him for
acting like he was this great romantic loving caring person
and tricking me by turning into to this irresponsible
asshole who only cares about himself and the next time he
can go stick his head up his friends asses. Oh,well!!


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