Astrid Haven

The Astrid Log
2002-11-16 09:21:53 (UTC)

-.i keep my gun and my knuckles in my folded tissue paper.-

Well, for a while there I thought I wouldn't return to you
diary. But it's a mix of emotion, solitude, bordom, and
passion that I come back again tonight to glaze my fingers
across the keys again to collect my thoughts in word. It's
around 4:00 am on a Saturday morning. To start this entry
off, sence it's a rather special one to me, first I'm going
to freestyle a poem that will bundle how I'm feeling right
now, I hope to cover a lot of topics, but I can't really
say what it will consist of, when I write, I put myself in
a state of mind and let my thoughts flow. After that, I
will make a list of things that have recently or presently
occouring, so when I look back on this later on, I'll
remember the times of this particular place in my life so I
can remember what life was like.

-green halo park-
The ringing is a bleak and my sneakers filled with God
How much plastic to see through the fog
My pretty pink pistol is a distant new pussy
With more glitter than the heavens in October
She says to me ''pull my clit and I'll fire the bullet to
kill the ones who drive invisible cars''
But I lay her down in the sidewalk chalk for fear of
spitting to far
They chant to me a song like the sugar in the soar
Tastes more sweet, but stings no less, no more.
I follow them to head stones, they keep me buried blue
I blink to fast to see where the squable flew
I smell to slow to notice the shit in the stew
My fingers dizzy bleeding and my lips quick to play
Precious little sodomy on a autumn's rainy day
Gorilla warfair
Games we always win
It's hailing in the park
Where we go to plead our sins
This is where we stand
And our remorse is viciously great
But this is what we desearve
For finger fucking fate
-----------------------------------

Recently:
Astrid Haven started working on our first LP. It's to be
titled 'Slave Mathmatics'. 12 songs. Wicked New Fetish,
Face Like Piss, Oh My Gun, Suck For Suicide, Manditory
Statchitory, Hypnotic Erotica, Fingerless, Splintered Milk,
Ingrown Shadow, Starlette-XT, Amputee Party, Homesick
Abortion.

The SiHK movement's been started. A webpage and a new crew is
starting to grow. It's quite and interesting thing and I'm very
happy with it.

Triple H is still World Heavy Weight Champ. But the paperveiw this
sunday may cost him. A 6 man elemination chamber match. Triple H,
Shawn Micheals, Booker T, Rod Van Dam, Kane, and Chris Jehrico.
Brock is still WWF champ, still undefeated.

The Sixth Joker's card, THE WRAITH, came out on the 5th. Very
beautiful album, chokes me up everytime I listen to it.

Snippers traveled around washington and virginia shooting people. I
believe 15 or 16 was the death count. They were caught.

Funk Master Flex from RUN DMC was shot and killed. Really sad cause
I grew up listening to Run DMC.

----------------------------------------

As for my life, I've been doing and thinking about a lot of things.
I've chose to stop concentrating on the bad and negitive things that
worry me all the time. To learn to let go again, like I used to be
able to do. I've had some problems with a couple people I care a lot
about, but I can't force anyone to love me fairly, so I let them go.
I love them dearly, but I can't let myself focus on that kind of
negitivity. It's to draining. I've found my happy thought. My
friends, the ones who have the ability to be precious and free. Not
worrying about the antistream politics. I can fly again, and it's
only when I fly that I can really be happy. Tragedy and I broke up.
But it's a lot better now. I don't feel obligated for anything and
it gives me a lot more room to be caring and romantic. We're basicly
together, just not official, and it seems to feel right that way. I
love her dearly. Sometimes I think I'm the only one that understands
her. She's got such a good heart, and it's treated badly and blamed
for things that she truly didn't mean to do. Sounds rather familiar
to me actually, I really can say I know how she feels. I've spent
some quality time with mowse. I gotta say, I love that guy. I'd do
anything for him, exept wear pickles in my hair and run around
Kentucy Fried Chicken naked screaming 'beware, the poptarts are
eating the beach critters.' Some things have happend, and some
friends and changed, and some feelings have changed. Some feelings
have changed a lot, some not so much. There are a few people I feel
I have lost. Two in particular, I cry about daily knowing that they
may not love me. One is precious to me in ways i couldn't explain.
I really do care for her and just maybe didn't show it like I should
have. The other has just grown to be so negitive that It's hard for
me to even talk to her. I'm not sure what else I want to say, but I
just wanted to open up and share the previous in an attempt to maybe
start writting a diary again. We'll see how it goes. Until then, I
think I may search for slumber.
-to die would be a great adventure-
-death is the only adventure you have left-

.:astrid.haven-




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