2002-11-16 05:29:31 (UTC)

Undecided Life


I am sorry for all the bad things I have said. I am sorry
for ever doubting you or for ever thinking your ideas were
wrong. The reason for this is simple; Have you ever been
stabbed in the back so hard, I mean you can feel it all
through your body? I am not talking the little tisks that
we have, I am talking about from someone that you truely
did start to fall in love with? It hurts. Not only does it
hurt, but it makes you see life at a whole new aspect. I
mean what is really the point of living? I mean we live, we
accomplish nothing, then we die. Christ why dont we just
die in the middle somewhere and then that way we dont
have to waste other peoples time. I mean, in all honosty sit
there and seriously think, if we died tonight, other then
hurting those who supposedly gave a shit about you, what
the hell would the world loose? I mean most people dont do
a god damn thing for anyone else, live till they are 90 and
die lonely and useless. Well Christ what makes them any
different from you or me? Other then a few respected people
no one would even know or care if we died. Life is a giant
fucking grociery bill. It starts off small and simple and
then as you look on farther down, it fucking adds up way
over your head until you debit card runs out and says
sorry, you are now poor, the government has all your god
damn money, for all we care you could be homeless, loveless
and who else knows what. Please try again. Then we are back
to square fucking one. That is if there is cremation and
the whole coming back again thing. But just say for a min
that there may be a "Heaven". Then what? We live in a
Mormon 3rd level hell? I mean come on. What the hell is the
point of ever being born in the first place? I just dont
understand it. Maybe it is to go to school for 13 long
fucking years, get out, have your heart repeatedly stomped
on by the supposed love of your life, have the government
tell you that you cant go to college because you dont have
the money, but you cant get the money because you dont have
a job, but you cant get a job because you dont have the
fucking education. Then if you can figure out a loop hole
(having a rich dead enharitant helps) you go to school for
another 4 or 5 years, work until they make you quite
because you are old, ugly and useless, then tell you to go
and survive on your own again. I hate the government, I
hate the fucking people of this country and I hate the
fucking people who have walked over my heart time and
again, and then expect not a second chance, but a third and
forth. Well I say, fuck dont matter

Hope you have a wonderful day