SexyCng757

NeNe's..
2002-11-15 21:51:31 (UTC)

another weekend..

November 15th, 4:35pm

hey hey. wud up. ima try to make this kinda long. i gotta
talk about a lot but i dont have much time, im going out
with valerie tonight.. me, her and jay are going to go ice
skating later on tonight. me and him talked the other day
and he told me that he wasnt going to smoke anymore. and i
told him not to tell me that if he really wasnt going to,
and he said no i really am. and he hasnt smoked every
since. im proud of him. i feel real weak.. i just started.
I was talkin to jay today, and i mentioned that im on and i
said that i wanted to get on Bc, just to not have my
period, and he said i was thinkin abuot that today. i
wondered if you took it, and then i thought that if you
didnt.. you need to. which is true. i dont want any babies.
BUT.. i dont wanna tell my mom. i know that i should.
because we need that kidna relationship.. but i will feel
like im letting her down if she knows that im sexually
active. and i dont want that to happen. i dont wanna let
her down at all. but the only reason i would be telling her
is that i dont wanna get pregnent. im scaired that she will
think that im too young and that jays just with me for sex.
if he was just with me for sex, then he wouldnt have waited
around so long. i didnt just give it to him within a month,
or even a month and a half. it was 2months. thats not a
whole long time, but it kinda is. and if my mom knew who i
lost it to.. she would be upset.. because i regret that
with every ince of my body. and i dont want anybody to
know. im just worried. that she will think different of me.
i havent decided when im going to talk to her about it.. or
even if i am. i dont know. i really need to.. we just dont
really have an open kinda relationship like that. she
thinks the world of me, and i try real hard not to mess
that up.. but this is something that is bound to happen
something.. and im not a little girl anymore. ive been
through more shit then a normal 16yr old would. I really
gotta go and finish gettin ready.. ill hollah atcha later.




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