humming bird

my F***ed up head
2002-11-15 03:48:35 (UTC)


ok now see apparently pat found out what chota had tol dme
becuz i asked edson about it and edson ended up calling pat
and telling him and pat got pretty damn pissed about it and
then yeah and then turner got in BIG trouble and becky got
arrested too and pat was all oh im quitting smoking but of
course we know he isnt and yeah so listen to this bullshit
please! ok see here's the deal- pat and i are whatev right
now right? yeah wel so i havent seen pat since sunday and i
havent talked to him since monday and so naturally u know i
want to see him and well edson was with us tonight for a
whle and he was being a dick o me and im like OK and then
we dropped him off and then picked him and chota back up
and yeah he was still being a dick to me and then we were
just gtonna go to chotas to watch friends and then we just
dropped chota off and ended up taking edson to go meet pat
even tho we couldnt come with them and yeah that was prtty
fucking stupid and im all pissed right but ikept my mouth
shut depsite the fact that lately i get so angry and i
havethis anger like seriously just like creating knots in
my fucking chest and i cant breath and i jsut feel it like
in me and i control it but it still suc i get like SO
angry it isnt normal but whatev i kept my mouth shut with
edson and then when we dropped him off with pat , pat said
hi to me and then i just waved and didnt say hi back and
then he just kinda starred at me with one of those "i know
ur pissed and im sorry " looks and then they just left and
i almost started crying becuz i keep getting left behind or
alone or whatev u wanna say and so we went and had a huge
discussion over it becuz liek it seemd like edson kept
trying to keep me away from pat or something and me and
nikki talked and we think that either edson likes me ( but
that mostly likely isnt it) or that he is afraid of me and
pat getting to close adn then he's without a best friend
and yeah i duno it just sux- everything is gay and sux and
i hate being a girl its to complicated and its broing and
for some rason i am so scared im not gonna get my period
but fuck that shit cuz i will so yeah but im gonna go so
yeah whatev life is gay-ttyl