BlondeLobotomy
.inside.my.head.
Why so complicated?
You know, its weird, because I have so many loving
friends, but yet I feel so alone. Its just because I
dont let my guard down, I dont let people really
experience me. I mean, I do but not as much as I would
like. I just get so scared to open myself up
I guess its
just a fear of rejection. I dont know. Like, Im real, I
just dont tell the whole story. I just like being the
exterior Lauren. The one that has all the fun. Because
there is no point in dwelling on the bad stuff right? I
wish I could just come to terms with the way I am. I just
always feel just a hint off base, like Im always
contradicting myself. It's just hard because I love life
so much its hard for me to slow down and actually think
about how stuff really is. Like, I dont pay enough
attention until its too late and everything just becomes
overwhelming. I have the worst fear of growing up. Seriously,
it pisses me off so much to think about how our whole lives are
built around making enough money to live, working until we die
and it just causes so many problems. So stupid. Damn, there has got
to be a better way. Oh well. Maybe Ill make a difference some
how. Make things a little bit easier for the generation
after mine. I can only hope.
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