The mediocrity that is me
2002-11-14 21:53:15 (UTC)

Falling version one

Can you blame a girl for falling into the same trap again?

She knows the texbook definition for crazy; repeating the
same action, expecting a different result. And yet she
still does it. Again and again, over and over, forever and
ever. She wonders why nothing ever changes.

Does she enjoy the feel of random hands on random nights?
The shots, taken straight, no chaser, one after the other
until her tongue goes numb and her words are loose and
filled with desire?

They told her she was "on a path to self-destruction,"
pumped her full of medications, little white pills that
made her go numb inside, killing her. She swore she'd
change, anything, anything to avoid becoming one of the
living dead.

And she did, she stared the world down with her china doll
face and painted grin until they believed in her lies.


She yearns for something lasting, wishes that "forever"
didn't turn her heart cold. But all the life she knows is
torn up into fleeting moments of intensity, brief
connections with humanity and herself through those single
random nights. Can you blame a girl for falling into the
only life she'll ever know?