fionasunshine

Happy days, and then those other ones
2001-08-16 05:33:04 (UTC)

READ

hi... i'm not really here... don't mind me.

um... i've been thinking, i can't wait to be out on my own,
you know all that fun and stuff? that'll be fucking
awesome! I'm going to move around the world, dragging a
husband and kids in tow and impress everybody... i'll write
a autobiography expaining how nobody understands the real
me, but never explaining what the real me is... i'll find
myself someday in the middle of a large scandel, and
everyone who knew me way back when will go on talk shows
saying i used to be so sweet and innocent and then it will
turn out that the nanny did, or at least that's what they
will think happened, and everybody will love me again, and
after i die at 32 they will make a movie about me and girls
around the world for years and years to come will idolize
me wishing that they could live a life like mine, and their
parents will try to dissuade them because behind all that
glamor, they will say, is a sad lonely shell of a girl...
and i will laugh in my afterlife saying, i fooled them
all! no one knew me, because i was an actress all my life
even though the last time i held a script was doing the
sound board for the boyfriend, but i was an actress in
Shakespeare's world, (all the world is a stage) and i was
good at manipulating the plot... what a cynical look on
life people will say when they read my recovered diary,
telling of my insane theories of human nature... no wonder
she never really knew love... and people will cry and light
candles praying for my soul but that was lost a long time
ago... and i will become a legand, a haunting voice in the
brains of millions of people for the rest of mankind's
existance (until 2137) but don't worry people of CA... i
love my friends, and would never forget them wherever i go
in my future... i'm not leaving because of anyone but me,
because i can't stay in one place to long without feeling
scared of growing too attached... when i say that nobody
really knows the real me... i mean it, because if you did
you would be really really REALLY scared. i'm sorry.

~caroline j.