Green Leef Turning Gold
2001-08-16 04:41:00 (UTC)

Ok its only f*cking Tuesday....

Damn I wish this week would end. Why does it have to crawl
along. I mean if you don't want time to go fast it does the
opposite. Argh. I finally kicked that cold I had, or
whatever it was. Talked to my mom online tonight. Sheesh,
yet again with the "isn't the fact that I am gay sooooo
wonderful?" Yea mom, lemme get a whole f*cking parade out
just for you.

I am feeling terribly negative today if you haven't
noticed....AND its not even PMS this time. Its my bf. I am
pissed at him. He pisses me off when I try to talk about
our finances he either blows off the subject or gives me
conflicting answers that don't make sense, and then accuses
me of not listening and then gets defensive about why I
want to know about it in the first place. This is a form of
abuse, he tries to make me think I am either crazy or that
EVERYTHING is my fault. But I digress, I am sure we all do
some semi abusive sh*t to our partners...I mean at least
he's not as bad as my exhusband who when irritated would
just threaten my life, or on a bad night try to take it.

I am sick of playing the part of the victim. Why can I
just stand up to his a$$, why do I take this kind of crap.
I deserve better. And I know everyone reading this thinks I
am stupid for putting up with it. But honestly I really
don't give a crap what anyone thinks. I gotta do whats
right for my kid. I just hope I can get my bf to get some
help before my son learns that this is an acceptable way to
treat women.

Thats it for tonight too pissed right now and he'll be
home from work any minute now.


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