Saitorr

Saitorr
2002-11-14 03:30:44 (UTC)

Balloon Warrior

If you have a polish person dancing... is that a pole
dance? Because this really old polish man offered me a
pole dance earlier today and...

Let's just say I fell for it.

I was thinking deeper into my plan to conquer the world,
and I realized that even the toughest soldier could be
brought down in combat due to a half-second sneeze. I also
realized that you don't suffer any symptoms when you're
being sexually stimulated. Therefore, I decided to give
all my soldiers sexual stimulation during combat. Well,
not personally... I don't have that many orifaces.

I mean... I wouldn't want to during the fight.

I mean... ever.

If I ever (according to statistics: 26% chance to) get
married and spawn a child, I think I'll change their name
and send them on a quest. A quest across Europe to China
and the Middle East. A quest to find the Holy Grail. Or
something holy, maybe... maybe Eden under the river (long
story, but basically some hard-core christian is a giant
idiot). Then he will have pleased his god, and banished me
to whatever. I don't even care, I lost interest in what I
was talking about.

I think there should be a Mafia gag industry. Although,
they'd probably be really really evil. Like... fake
rubber ovarian tumors, or exploding underwear, or fake guns
that shoot real bullets. Good times. Actually, some of
those might be fun. Except for the fact that you'd lose a
lot of friends. In fact, I probably just lost a lot of
friends for thinking them up.

That's alright, I didn't like them anyway.

"Hey what just dropped out of your dress? Oh my god!"

Ewww.

If I were condemned to be a creature, I think I'd try to
pile up as many other types on top of it if I could. For
example, if I were a werewolf, I'd try and get bit by a
vampire too. Then I'd be a vampire werewolf. It works the
other way around as well. Why not? It's a win-win
situation. Vampires can only be killed by wooden stakes,
werewolves, silver bullets. Combined, you'd have to have a
wooden bullet, or silver stake. What shop sells either?
NONE! I'd be unstoppable!

Advocating the new month Tempuary,
Jacob




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