CJFlan32

A Day in the Life
2002-11-14 01:05:31 (UTC)

First Day

A friend of mine told me about this. I'm wondering
if it's a good idea. It's supposed to help me feel better.
Because I think too much. And when I think of things I
dwell on them. "W" (I'll never use peoples real names)
says it would help if i wrote my thoughts down. Well,
here's the basics: My name is Craig. I live at and attend
URI. I have anger management problems. I'm currently
single, which is what I'm writing about today.
A year and a half ago I met "N", a girl that I worked
with. She was the annoying, little blond cheerleader
type. In fact, that was exactly what she was. And I hated
it. Eventually I started to tolerate it. Well, I had to, I
mean, we worked together. Then, almost exactly a year
ago, she needed a ride home from work. Being a nice
person, I gave her a ride home. I did it again, and
again, and again. And I fell for her. I wondered if she
was leading me on. I didn't really know, I'm not that
attentative. Then one day she asked me to attend her
Junior Miss Pageant. When I got there it was weird,
because she has the type of friends who would show
up for a thing like this, and I was the ONLY ONE there.
So, I finally grew a pair and asked her to a movie. It
went really well. I asked her again, this time I put all the
cards on the table. I call this "The Talk". I told her how I
felt. I knew it could have been a doomed relationship,
seeing she was leaving for Pennsylvania in four
months. I didn't care, she was worth it. She had issues
about me, my anger management issues for starters,
but she felt the same way. I was higher than a kite. But
everytime I brought "us" up, she changed the subject. I
confronted her about it, and she retracted her
statements from the previous week and said she
wanted to be "just friends". Eventually, I just dealt with
this. Not accepted, just dealt. We went to two proms
together, had a little fun, but she was a different person
after we had "The Talk". Then she met someone. He
was a 23 year old fireman. He was the son of the
woman who made her prom dress. And I wondered.
They were always together. She stopped asking me for
rides home, and he took her home instead. But she
insisted they were "just friends". Then I found out the
truth at her graduation party. I snapped. I had never
been jealous in my life of anyone. Until now. I became
depressed and psychotic. I have to do the old HW now,
so I'll write part two tomorrow. Out.
C




Ad: