Piper Lee

Thoughts from the mind
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2001-08-15 19:34:50 (UTC)

Somedays everyone just wishes..

Somedays everyone just wishes they were dead. That they
didnt have to wake up the next morning and be faced w/ the
world's problems. Life can be pretty shitty sometimes. And
then, when you think you're alright and you've picked
yourself back up to go on, you fall again. You're pushed and
shoved, your mind yanked and pulled on until you almost cant
take it anymore. I swear, God is out to punish me for
something. What? I dont know, maybe one day i will figure it
out. A friend said to me the other day that he didnt know if
it was true about how they say God doesnt let things that
you cant handle happen to you. Maybe it's true, maybe it
isnt. In my perspective, it might be true in some cases. r
maybe it's just that he pushes you to a limit, the limit
where you are about to just collapse to you knees and beg
for forgiveness from any sin and beg for Him to make your
life better. Who knows though. I know i dont. At some points
i feel like giving up, other days i'm alright. I write my
feelings out a lot. Like i wrote a poem the other.

S a c r a f i c e
holdin onto my faith
forgive my every sin
put me n a vice
nail me 2 a cross
leave me 2 die
hold me dwn w/ a gun 2 my head
strangle every last breath frm my body
stab me w/ a 3sided blade n the heart
cut my throat & leave me 2 die
do anythin u want 2 me
gruesome or not
but dont hurt my beloved 1s
they r all i have
i sacrafice myself 2 u Lord

I look back on that and couldnt tell you what i was thinking
when i wrote it anyway. I've learned that people are so
stupid and uptight...even me. We hold rediculous gruges
against one another and have a problem stereotyping peple
and not getting to know them as them. Going to an up tight
snotty "rich" school doesnt help either. It gives everyone a
complex, and area people dont seem to like the people from
my school and you say the name and they turn their nose up
at you and act like you are the biggest spoiled brat in the
world. It's so pathetic that we treat each other in such a
way. And we lie, cheat, steal, hurt other people, we get a
joy off this. Does anyone realize this? I mean people really
do find pleasure in toying w/ other people, and hurting
them in a way that's almost so retarded it makes me wish i
didnt have to see it. Yea, i do it too, but i think it's an
inborn thing of everyone. Even the nicest of people. Well
that's my thughts for today, for right now at least. Until