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a sad thing
Have you ever seen those lonely, unhappy old people whose
lives always seem to be the "one" you never want to live?
You think to yourselves, "God, I wonder what led them
there." I have, I think, uncovered the route in which led
them there. I am not to be that person, then again....who
am I to determine what will become of me? I don't know and
as usual, the answer is not in my knowledge. God, I have
nothing to give myself and no answers to offer.
It's a sad thing, lonliness.....but it is not something
that we fall into....it's something that we create.
I have permanently become what I loathe. It is that girl
whose own reflection she stares at, not because she is
vain, but because she hopes to see someone, she hopes to
recognize the person within....she stares and wishes to
discover what lies hiding behind her glass face.
I am nothing more than a glass face. I find that it soothes
and comforts me when no other cannot.
I laugh to myself as I read this because I have many
friends and many possibilities for affection and for some
reason, unknown, I run to these possibilites and remain in
it's fulfilling embrace just long enough to satisfy my
hunger....and after I've used and tossed them out, I am
hungry again.....yet there is nothing left.
I write this not to beg for pity...but in an attempt to
open my eyes, perhaps seeing truth in words, written down,
I will see that the lonliness I have created for myself, I
have shed bits and parts of cruelty on others.
What ugliness, a once beautifully painted image can
become, when seen at a different angle.