Scenes from a Marriage
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2001-08-15 15:46:27 (UTC)

Wednesday, August 15th

Well, half of August is gone, I can hardly believe it. Ben
got his school list yesterday finally, so now I have to
take him shopping for school supplies. He has finally
reached that age I was dreading---he stated he doesn't want
a backpack or lunchbox with any characters on it, just
plain or Nike will be fine. I guess he is growing up,
starting 5th grade, so I guess that is the time he starts
getting out of characters. He got the teacher I wanted him
to get, which is the lady who did the math competition and
I think it will be great for him to have a strong math
teacher who will work with him on his math skills. We were
doing non-perfect square roots, and he was getting it, I
was very impressed. He gets basic algebra too, I think if
someone would just challenge him in math they would be
amazed at what he can do.

Still sitting around waiting for the test, her whole family
is out of town in Florida, so there is no one around to
argue with about he is/he isn't. Next Monday should be the
day, I have this bad feeling, I guess even more so since
what happened over the weekend. We have a junior A hockey
player coming to stay with us, and over the weekend I had a
dream that his name was Joe and he was from Texas. Come to
find out his name is Joe, but he is from WI. So I was 50%
right. Anyway, on several different occassions I have
dreamt that the results come back and he is the father.

I guess I don't know how to feel about it, being a mother,
I would have to hate him on one had because the child is 8
months old and he has had nothing to do with her, he has
not paid one dime or done anything for the child, which
makes him a horrible father. I know he is not a horrible
father, he is a GREAT father, and I guess he could blame it
all on the fact he didn't know for sure until now, but geez
that would just add to his list of horrible things he has
done. I mean I just could not imagine living minutes away
from your child all this time and having nothing to do with
them and then he says he may sue for full custody. How is
he going to do that, when the kid does not even know

What really stinks is his birthday is August 29th, and I
don't even know what to do for him, because come Monday he
may be gone. I scheduled him for a massage tonight and one
in September, because our massage guy is going to Swenden
and we will be gone for 2 weeks or so. I guess I will plan
on taking him to dinner also, because I can always cancel
that. UGH!!! I hate my life being on hold.