Ad 2:
2002-11-12 06:48:48 (UTC)

~ all the chance that i need is one-in-a-million ~

( hehehehe this i can relate to uh huh
http://www.matazone.co.uk/littlegothgirlfluffykin.html )

ahhhhhhhh what a day night weekend life


so much.

i feel like so much had happened. and its all for the good.
i dont really know how to handle happiness and hope and
possibilies of this magnitude.

robin, you need to call me. i miss you. im going to call
you soon.

its late i need to go to bed. i slept too much today.
oops. =) the coffee didnt help either probably, huh? =)

ive had a little revelation...

life. can be. pretty. cool. sometimes.
its feeling like this.
that makes me.
keep on going.


im going to try and do a lot of it tomorrow and the rest
of this week. i have to.

that big project presentation thing starts MONFUCKINGDAY

my group sucks and its going to suck and im freaking out
hardcorelike about it.
but thats just not going to accomplish much of anything.
so im attempting to stay calm.

apparently now were doing a two skits?
i get to be a fairy. so im happy. =)

i freaked out this weekend. ive never needed someone as
much as i needed her right then.
and she was there. i didnt even know it. but she was there.
and for that right there. i am grateful.
she was outside.
i dont need anyone. i never have before anyway.
ive taught myself not to rely on people.
she was there.
i ran away crying.
and she was there to hold me and talk to me.

19 years of learning how to stand up alone with no one to
hold me up with the only people i even let slightly have a
hand on me for support letting go as soon as it got a
little rough as soon as i let them effect me and.
she was fucking there.
as much as she didnt want to be for lots of reasons.
she was outside of my house.
with pink tissue paper which im sure was a very difficult
task for her.
and arms waiting to catch me.

its like the way i walked around in new orleans with her
at really dark late times and didnt even think about the
possibility of danger until she mentioned it.
or the way i feel when she loves me when its sleepy time.
or the picture she drew me and the cookies she brought me
the glass of milk and the park when i was upset.
or when i fought really really bad with my dad and she
drove here so quickly.
or even when she was the instigator of my sadness, she was
still the one who tried so hard to make it better.

its not even forced or conscious.

and its 143 am now. ( =) )

and im going to sleep.