pianoboy314

life
2002-11-12 03:52:39 (UTC)

hmm today has sucked so much...

hmm today has sucked so much. well really this weekend has
sucked. i have been so busy and i have had no time spend
with my friends. i have been thinking so much this weekend
mostly of some1 in particular. he makes me feel all happy
inside and he gives me a sense of calmness, if that's a
word. i would go and talk to him, but of course me bieng a
little paranoid, i won't. i am to shy to approach him. i
guess that i am just afraid of the consequences. i don't
know if he will like me or what. i guess i'll talk 2 him
eventually or the same thing that happened with ed and me
will happen between the two of us. oh and by the way
travis ballenger, one of my dearest and closest gay
friends of mine, and i are NOT sleeping together. this
week has given me way to much time to myself. i have
thought so much of the upcoming events, and whether or not
i am going to partake in them. i'm still having the
feeling of going home i don't know how long i can handle
some of the pressures here. i don't ever remember bieng
this competitive i never liked bieng this way and its not
something that i like in any way form or fashion. the
people here sometimes don't feel like "friends" but more
of a competition that i must overcome in order to survive
this overlly dramatic place.




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