DDreams

I never wanted a desk job...
2002-11-11 22:39:01 (UTC)

Do you love your job?

Okay, here's my dillema. I hate my job with such a passion
that I never thought existed. What I wouldn't give to just
stand up, scream at the co-workers I can't stand (which is
about 90% of them) and run out of the building. This just
isn't right!

I talked to my folks this weekend, and posed my problem.
They overwhemingly agreed that I need to find something
else. I'm just tired of being depressed all the time, and
not finding a single ounce of joy or gratification for the
job I do. So here's my plan. I want to quit my job in
January, and be a substitute teacher for the rest of the
school year. Then, I'll get gung-ho about finding a
teaching job somewhere in the Pacific Northwest (or even
Alaska, god forbid) and move on with my life. I just can't
take this mundane work anymore, and don't want to deal with
the office politics that seem to have overrun our
department.

But then I have M to worry about. I don't know where our
relationship stands at this point. We had our two
year 'anniversary' last weekend, and I really don't think
he has any intentions of asking me to marry him. He's been
divorced once already, and has two children. As much as we
love and care for each other, I just don't think our life
plans coincide with each other. It's going to hurt like
hell to move on without him, but I think it's going to be
something that I'm just going to have to buck up and do. I
can't sit around and wait for him anymore. And who knows,
maybe me preparing to move may light a fire under his ass,
to put it lightly, and he'll make up his mind on where we
stand.

It's just that I've been in MT basically my entire life.
I'm sick of being here. There are no teaching jobs that
pay decently, and I'm ready to see life away from here.
All of my friends are getting their goals accomplished,
while I'm stuck here in a job that I absolutly hate and am
making no progress in. I just can't take it anymore!!!!!

Anyway, that's my rant for today. Thanks for listening,
and have a great day.

B