my so called life
Oh my gosh, I’m so tired!
Guess I kind of overreacted about the whole Lucy-thing the
other day. It’s just that not many of my friends are home
at the moment and when she didn’t want to spend time with
me, I freaked out. The next day (Monday) I realized that I
overreacted and was kind of glad I didn’t say anything to
Lucy. I know she would have been upset. I sent her a
message asking how the movie was ( she and her friend, who
is a boy ;) , went to the movies Sunday). She phoned and we
talked for a while. Apparently, The Planet Of The Apes
wasn’t the best movie she’d seen, but it seemed like she
had a good time anyway. We decided to get together later,
and we did. We were at her place, talking about boys all
night. Got a message from Ben, I think he might wanted to
come too. But no way, no boys when we’re gossiping about
them! :) Lucy seriously thinks that Ben’s into me. It made
me kind of confused, sometimes I want him to be, sometimes
I don’t. But I can’t really get myself to believe that he
is. Lucy wanted me to ask him to go to the movies with me
or something, but I don’t know. Anyway.
I ended up spending the night at Lucy’s, the last bus
leaves at 23:45. We stayed up all night talking. Mostly
about boys, of course :) It was great =)
We went to sleep around 8 a.m. and got up just before 2.
That’s why I’m so tired =)
I haven’t seen Ben in over a week. I miss him!! But when I
see him, it’s never like I hoped it would be, I always get
I’m kind of worried.. I’m scared of falling in love, I’m
scared of commitment. I get so easily hurt and I’ve
promised myself that I won’t fall head over heels in love
again, unless I KNOW he’s worth it. In many ways Ben is
like.. all I’ve ever dreamed of, but I don’t know. He
doesn’t always treat me very well. It’s not like he’s mean
or anything.. But.. If I like.. compare him to Steve..
Steve, he would do anything to give me the moon if I asked
him for it, but Ben’s not like that. I dunno.. He just..
doesn’t give me the feeling of being loved. I think I need