sex kitten

life of a porn star
2001-08-14 17:18:46 (UTC)

omg i fucking hate you

last night i went out with my friend. she is the only
person in the world that i trust and love. but she has been
at camp all summer and i havent really talked to her. so
last night she came and picked me up early. it made me
laugh at what a goodie goodie i have become because she
doesnt have a licence and she picked me up in her friends
car. lol i felt like i was actually doing something bad.
but ne ways we went to applebees and had dessert and then
we went to two grocery stores in buffalo. then we went to
delaware park and talked and smoked. she has changed so
much in the past six weeks. i mean her personality is the
same i guess but she was more serious than she used to be.
also she now smokes- which isnt a big deal bc i do too but
she thinks she is all cool about it. also she told me that
she is bisexual. now i am so cool with that as long as it
makes her happy. i dont think its weird at all. but i feel
weird bc i am strait and now she is closer to other girls
that are bi and i am afraid that she wont always be my best
friend. i guess i feel left out. but i was definitely happy
to see her and we had fun talking.
then this morning my father woke me up for school at
7:15. i hardly slept last night and i fell back asleep. at
7:40 he barges into my room and starts screaming at me that
he will be late-( he drives me to summer school on his way
to work) then he went downstairs and threw a plate at the
wall and it shatterd all over. when i came down stairs he
started yelling at me to get in the car, which was locked.
so he starts yelling at me in the drive way waking up all
of the neighbors. the whole time i was just shaking my head
at him. then he was speeding down the street and i started
to get scared bc he was being a psyco. then he starts
yelling at me about how stupid i am and how lazy i am and
how iam never going to graduate. now i have a hard time
with school so that really hurt so i finally started
crying. then he yells at me for crying. so i finally said
it- then thing i have wanted to say since i was 9- "O MY
GOD I FUCKING HATE YOU" so he finnaly shut up but i dont
hink that he realy cared that i said that. he is so
insensitive. i cant wait untill he comes home from work
tonight bc i am not afraid of him ne more. he is gonna do
the "nice dad" thing and be all sweet but i am ready to let
it all out. then my momy came to pick me up after school
and she gave me a hug and i cried in the car. so i feel
better now. - sigh