2002-11-10 20:31:30 (UTC)

.you are my blowfish.

mom "just remember your BIG MAIN present is going to be here
wednesday. hopefully."

me "=) whats it start with? give me just a little hint"

mom "its starts with a p"

me "hm. um is it a pink -----?"

mom "heh. no. p. p for present. HAHAHAH"

me "thats fucked up mom."

so im at my house.
it smells like warm cheese cake and that makes me smile.

today we are celebrating my 19th birthday.
its really on wednesday.

today is sergios birthday.
hes 22.

things have been really happy the last couple of days.
really fucking good.

i spent most of my weekend at emilys house.

i understand why she doesnt want to come here.
i still want her to be here.
but i understand.
how couldnt i...

sometimes i wish so much that things could be different.
but. again.
there is nothing i can do about them.
so i just deal. again and again and again.

i want her here though. its my birthday dinner. and its
not going to feel right without her.

maybe we can just celebrate my birthday just her and i

i guess well see.