Christine

Visions Of Life
2002-11-10 18:36:38 (UTC)

Why Am I Life's Personal Bitch???

Fuck. No matter what I do, no matter how good of a person I
am, no matter how hard I work, I cant get one fuckin break.
I volunteer, give to charities, work my ass off and still
life fucks me over. Why cant one thing go right? Christ.
Instead of things getting better, more and more shit goes
wrong and none of it is in my control. I guess being a good
person doesnt matter anymore. Nothing will be better for a
long long time and I am fucking sick of everyone telling
me things will be fine. No they wont. I start school Jan
17th but I cant register till I find a new job and finding
work now adays is hopeless. Damn illegal mexicans taking
all of the jobs. Oh yes, and i need to move by Jan 4th. So
on top of everything else in my life, I have2 major things
to deal with and 2 months to deal with it. I am so stressed
that I cannot handle anything. I was at that point last
week so of course I had to have car trouble. I dont have to
pay to get it fixed but its a damn hassle. There are even
more horrible things going on but Ive reached the point
where I cannot take anything else in so Im completly numb
to something when I should be quite upset. Being numb
actually scares me. I should be crying, I should be
cutting, I should be overdosing on pills but Im not. This
is bad because I dont know how I am going to release this
tension. Most likely I will snap and the result will be
horrible.

The world keeps fucking me so fuck the world.