T

oy

he called yesturday (friday) morning. why must i always
feel so crazy and out of control. like i just dont know
what to do or how to react. like for some reason i still
need to make sure i please him.......even though part of me
wonders if he feels that way about me. what am i talking
about, i shouldnt even be writing in this anymore. i hate
hurting... i wish everything could either be okay with me
him and my family... or that i could just get him out nof
my fucking head for one second of every friggin day. i
dont know if he even remembers i have this diary, or if he
even thinks that i might possibly still be writngin it.
please dont call me, especially if its because of this. i
cant handle it. im going to stop writing in this thing.