Rebecca

Pointless Dribble
2002-11-10 04:18:34 (UTC)

Rainy Night!

Why are rainy nights so lonely when you don't have
someone to love? He has been pacing in my mind all day.
Of course, after a night last night, there is no reason why
he souldn't be in my mind. It has been too long since I
have had that kind of an emotional orgasism. I am such a
bad person. I know that he is still with her. It's the
way he looks at me. It is my weakness. He can look at me
and see past everything, as though he is in my soul. He
hold my heart in his hands. There is nothing I can do
about that. I know he is going to break it. That is just
a given. I love him to he point that it hurts. My heart
actually aches. Its weird, I have loved before, but I have
never ached. Every thought of him hurts. My heart is
breaking. I admit it is dumb. Why love a man that can not
return his love back. He is attached, and I don't think he
is brave enough to break it off with her. His friend told
his girlfriend...my roommate...that he think "he" has tried
to break it off with her on many occasions, but she cries
and talks him out of it. He said that he doesn't think he
wants to be with her. They have noticed the looks and
gazes he sends my way. They can tell he cares for me. He
is just being fickle. Why is that? Why are they always
fickle. I realize he doesn't want to hurt her, but doesnt
he realize that this is hurting me. Is ok to hurt me. I
am so drained emotionally. I just want to wake up from
this emotional night mare and be okay. I wish he just
choose. Either way, bad or good, at least I know. I think
I should let him go. If it was meant to be...it would
already happened!
Wishing for Love,
Me


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