AngeL w/o WinGs

-=-My So Called Life-=-
2002-11-10 04:07:27 (UTC)

*just to fall asleep with you....

So when do you really know if you're ready to 'do the
deed'? Are you ever completely sure? I doubt it. In the
heat of the moment, you're right there,'re more than
ready. You are ACHING for it, and it's all you want to do,
you are in rhythmn with him, insync, you live him...breathe
him....feel him....are completely overtaken by his scent,
his skin, the rapid beating of his heart on your chest.
That's how I feel sometimes with him. I am still the big V
though, i refuse to do it without preparation, aka
protection. I've thought of all the consequences, I've
weighed them out, I've discussed lots of important issues
with my mom, i've researched into more info. on it, so
basically I am ready.

But then again, am I really? Is anyone really? Once it's
gone, it is GONE. Is anyone really ready to lose something
so over analyzed and important in society, the symbol of
innocence. No one is ever really ready to lose their
innocence, it's something that is robbed from you,
something you cannot help, so in that case, is anyone
really truely ready to do it? No.

But I am pretty well close enough.

Then I think of all the other stuff like....once I lose it
to this boy I cannot help but love more than anyone and
anything, I will forever be connected to him, and if God
forbid, anything should happen to us, it will be a million
times harder to let him go..because he did not just take a
piece of my heart with me, he also took my

I don't know. Do I love him? Yes. Would I walk to the end
of the earth just to hear his voice? Yes.

Oh man I'm ready.