msh4077

A Cavalier Looks At 27
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2002-11-10 03:36:18 (UTC)

November 9, 2002

Well. Today was just a bad day all around. I woke up this
morning to Jenny calling and telling me that she couldn't
go with me to the concert. I tried all day looking for
someone to go to the concert with me, but I could not find
anyone. I finally dcided that I just had to see her and
asked her if we could just hang out for a while this
evening. She agreed and we had made plans for me to come
to her house to see her at about 9:30. Well, as I was
showering and getting ready to leave, my Mom needed my help
because my Grandpa had fallen. I hurried up to his house
to help him. I found him on the floor of the bathroom. It
took about 15 minutes but I was finally able to get him off
of the floor and situated in his chair. It took everything
in me to do. I called Jenny a few times to tell her that I
didn't feel comfortable leaving Grandpa. The woman that
stays with him and looks after him will be gone until
tomorrow afternoon. I offerred to have her let me take her
and the kids out for dinner tomorrow evening. She said she
would get back to me. I hope she does. I sure want to see
her. I feel so bad that I couldn't get down there to see
her. She said she understands but I think she might be a
little upset with me. Twice today I told her that I love
her and I did not get a reply. So now I sit here, all
alone, tears in my eyes, trying to think of a way to show
Jenny that she means the world to me. I want her to see
how special and incredible she really is. I know that she
is going through an awful time and I know she is scared. I
wish I knew how to make her feel safe. I wish I could take
away all the fear. I feel helpless and useless right now.
I love her. I want to be with her right now. I just hope
that she realizes that.


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