Silent Eyes

Lost in this place
2002-11-10 00:42:09 (UTC)

To much Pain

I have a question...if we create our own pain, our own
guilt, and everything else do we create our own existince.
Learn that the more you trust people the more vulnerable
you are. Be aware of your enemies, who you trust, and who
your true friends are. Be aware and look ahead before you
do and say things. Remember everything will come back to
you! I want to warn people ahead of time to save them the
pain of reality and its bullshit...WOW! I have ALOT of
pain and hurt inside me:) I knew it was somewhere everytime
I try to vent to my friends they either don't understand or
don't want to hear it, so what else can I do. I feel like
I just want to get away. When I am with people I can feel
the connection very little lately and it's pretty
depressing. The worst is watching it right?....I just
don't know what is worse wanting something that you don't
always have but are forced to watch or leaving it all and
starting fresh like you created it and it's just another
lost memory. You know what is one of the best
things...sitting in the backyard as the sun is setting with
the cold nip of winter in the air and a cup of tea in one
hand, snuggled into a blanket and reflecting on your's a thought, what if all of the insane
people are really the only ones that see it like it is?
And people just single them out because they can't handle
the truth? Sometimes I wonder if it is better to be insane
because you might live a little bit happier, but I don't
know if they can experience what others do, or maybe they
have and they know it's all in our heads....heehee now I'm
sounding crazy.....goodbye sweet deadly world