Silent Eyes

Lost in this place
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2002-11-09 19:11:58 (UTC)

About Me

Let me reflect a bit on myself,

I grew up In the state of IL, where winters were freezing, friends
were plentiful, and things were pretty great. I lived there my
entire life until the summer of my 13th year. I have four brothers,
3 older and one younger. The oldest moved here (Arizona) when I was
real little. My family decided to move here to help him out and we
became a "family business."

I moved here when I was going into eight grade. I met alot of
people, my new best friend was Sam (Samuari Sam) She was one of the
coolest people not judgemental, kind, awesome! I had my other school
friends but it was hard because in junior high their were to many
clicks and I was more used to the everyone knows everyone and gets
along type because my old school was fairly close. Yea they had
arguements but not as bad at least I could be friends with different
people.

So finally I make it through welcome to Highschool, for all of you
unfamiliar with the area, highschool is 10-12 here. I stayed friends
with sam and we grew real close that year. I also met this one boy.
His name Paul. Sam and I were taking a correspondance bowling class
and I had just dropped my math class because I would rather take it
in summer school. Anyways we saw Paul and his friends there. I
never really noticed Paul in my math class. He tripped me once and
gave me that flirty smile and I gave him the ugh girl attitude, and
didn't think much of it. So we see him at the bowling alley he didn't
even remember my name, but he managed to play it off by looking at
the score board on the screen. SMOOTH. Something about him made me
fall for him instantly and it wasn't just because he was good-
looking.:)So who ended up flirting with him? Sam heehee It hurt for
some reason and the fact that she might like him intimidated me and
scared me off why? because I liked him. Who knew?

As time moves on Paul becomes the lil pimp because I was to crazy
about him to let him go that easy so he flirted with both Sam and I.
And I pretended I didn't like him but just liked to flirt. Soon I
fell head over heels, not just because he was sweet he just held so
many qualites of a great friend. So I started to hang out with him,
I wanted his friendship, I didn't need it at all, I was happy but he
intrested me he secretly silently offered one of the greatest coolest
friendships and I fell in love with him. At the time I didn't think
it was love and I supressed any feelings I had for him until one
night I was hurting so bad I couldn't take it any more. I told him I
liked him. WHAT did he say?...HE RETURNED THE FEELINGS but I had to
do alot to break his pride and say it :) It was a great feeling.

That night we decided to go out. And we went out for 11 months. We
had ups and downs, unbelievable memories that I'll always cherrish
great talks fights, everything. His friends never supported us.
They began to hate me. One of them liked me the same time I chose to
go out with Paul so I could understand his pain, but the others I
always were negative. I always had faith in us. No relationship
could compare to what we shared, and I know just what i want if I
ever date again. He broke up with me on my brothers birthday about 3
weeks from our 1 year. I took it hard, but he was there. Why? He
was a great guy and my best friend.

Now that your semi caught up I'll continue....


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