positronic

the truth for once
2001-08-14 02:25:41 (UTC)

Suicide pact

So, Friday night I have decided to once again see if my
body can handle chasing the dragon. i guess it's my going
away present. maybe all my problems will go away this time.
my brother, my ?girlfriend, my lonliness. I suppose most of
all my loneliness. I act so fucking tough and it's such a
bunch of shit. i'm scared to death of reality of finding
out people are bullshit, liars and phonies. I really just
miss honesty. Compassion. what's really deep inside of
people. Then again I push them away with interrogation like
questions, they probably feel the heat of the swinging
light bulb, my dark silhouette holding a casual rifle. I'm
good at that. Who needs love? Let's all be dark and kill.
Ourselves first of course and then let things happen as
they may. So that's me the self-killer. And friday will
maybe shed some form of light or darkness on things.
Joshua