JDarkAngel

I have become comfortably numb
2002-11-09 05:07:52 (UTC)

The Great Days Of My Life

Well yesterday was a great day. My dad called me earlier
yesterday morning and told me that my uncle died the 24th.
He was shot in his chest and they are not sure if he
commited suicide or someone else shot him. So he is takin
that really hard and so is my brother Chase. He was
supposed to come into town this weekend, before he
graduates navy school and gets shipped to Cali. b/c thats
where he is gonna be stationed, but he didn't get a chance
to come down, b/c he has duty Sunday night. So now I don't
know when the next time I am gonna see him is. And of
course the best news to top it all. My mom talked to my
grandmother. Her and my grandfather both went for test
yesterday. She has to have laser surgery done on her eye
b/c of somethin and my grandfather, has a tumor on his
lung. It's to close to a artery so they can't remove it.
he finds out Tuesday if it is cancerous or not. If it
isn't then he has to go to Kemo to try to shrink the tumor,
but if it is cancerous, he won't survive. My whole family
seems to be thinkin the worst. Which means, everyone in my
family feels like total and complete shit right now for one
reason or another. My mom is dealin with all this shit on
the house and then both of her parents are sick. My dad's
brother just died. My brother is completely depressed
about my uncle and just about everything. And me, I am
doin great. I mean my grandfather is basically my father.
He has been more of a father to me then my own father. I
still love my father, but me and my grandfather are
probably closer then anyone. I don't want to lose him. I
know I will have to one day, but I just don't want that day
to come, at all, and expecially not anytime soon. Right
now the only thing keepin me from goin completely insane
and just keepin me together is the thought that he might be
ok and Jeremy. Everything else is failin on me right now.
I can't lose him too. If I do, I won't be able to handle
it. Everything is just slippin out of my hands and there
is not a damn thing I can do about it. Just when I get
happy again more pain comes along. I want to say so bad
that it won't tear me down, but I don't know what will
happen if I lose my grandfather and my grandmother. I
just, I really need Jeremy right now. Too hold my hand
through this and not try to make it ok, but be with me, so
I know it will be ok in the end. Please let it be ok in
the end.




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