Lizzie's Life in a Nutshell
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2001-08-13 23:38:02 (UTC)

A dream is a wish your heart makes

Once again, I have not written in a long while. My
apologies...I've had no time. My days are consumed with
tennis practices and ...yes...Band Camp. Speaking of which,
I saw American Pie 2. Laughed my ass off yo! hehe...it was
great. Back to "A Dream is a Wish your Heart makes".

And this one time, at Band Camp, (pun intended) we were
doing drills and mostly working on pinwheels. I had a
problem because I was on the outside and to my
disadvantage, I have extremely short legs. Our drum major,
my friend matt, was standing in front of me. He was giving
the band orders and laughed at me when my legs weren't
exactly making long enough strides to reach the count in
time. So, we continued to do them, as he made fun of me.
Yes, this matt is the one i talked about in one of my first
entries. You know, my mission homecoming? Yea...the one I
said I would give up on. Well, turns out that I cant do
that. My feelings grow stronger every time I see him, every
moment we talk. It's the little things that make me happy.
Like today, for example. I don't think he likes me like
that, or even realizes the way I feel. When he just even
walks by me, or I catch a glimpse of him, a smile crosses
my face. This smile seems to last forever, something just
makes me feel so happy when he is around. He may not do
anything more than look, smile, or say "hey" to me, and it
will put me in the best mood ever. I don't know what to do.
I find myself thinking about him more often than ever. I
don't think he would ever have any more than the feelings
he has for us as friends. I want to try and say something
to him, or maybe even try and hang out with him more. But
what if I do or say something wrong. I don't want him to
know how I feel because I dont want to ruin what we have
now, or lose him as a friend. But having these feelings
bottled up inside me are driving me crazy!! I truly , for
once, dont know what to do. If anybody has any advice for
me, i would truly be greatful!! love you all!!