A Dreamer's Playground
2001-08-13 21:55:44 (UTC)

A Tortured Soul

Looking back on what I wrote previously I realized the
name I had chosen for my diary "A Troubled Soul". I chose
this name because it fits me in all reality. Everything I
go through usually makes me more and more troubled.
In exact truth, I named this after a poem I had
written which is entitled "A Tortured Soul". I assumed if
anything, I should at least have that be apart of my diary.

A Tortured Soul

There once was a girl who nobody loved
Ignored as a youngster, who everyone shoved
She chose to withdraw herself from the crowd
Feeling she didn't belong, felt she wasn't allowed
Little children are supposed to be sweet
And easily become friends with any classmate they meet
They're supposed to be innocent, kiss their parents
Supposed to do well in school and not get in fights
This child was smart, and read lots of books
And was aware that nobody liked her because of her looks
She was everything a good girl should be
And would cry when she'd think, "Nobody likes me"
Teased throughout life because of her size
Finding a true friend is impossible she soon came to realize
When she got into middle school
The teasing got worse, the kids even more cruel
More than before, she became extremely shy
All the while no one ever knew why
When she wouldn't present something in class, teachers
would yell and make her cry
And soon she became very timid and depressed and truly
wished that she would die
As the four years went by painfully slow, she would
Stay home from school as much as she could
The years went by, and still not one true friend
She knew that her life had never begun or had already come
to an end
By the end of the forth year she was going to become an aunt
And was yelled at when this news she would flaunt
She had been happy because of this, she'd thought, "Maybe
This is my new start; someone just might love me"
Even if it was just an emotional bond
Affection and trust is for what she did long
With a lack of help, moving was her chore
If only she'd known she'd be ignored even more
Feeling that her sister's boyfriend was an enemy she
couldn't escape, couldn't win,
What pitiful excuse of a life she had was even worse when
he moved in
A new neighborhood with people that didn't like her
That tormenting, inescapable taunting had now returned
To think, her birthday was to be the first party at the new
And for once, somehow, she didn't have any doubts
"Why not save time, have the baby shower and the birthday
party on the same day?"
Her very rare, short moment of happiness quickly faded away
She invited many friends, thinking it still might be okay
Until the arrival of that painful and torturous day
The baby shower was the first event
People came for a while and finally went
A few members of her family came to celebrate her day
Stayed most of the night before continuing on their way
Not a single person she had invited came
The party was depressing and really damn lame
All the beautiful presents and the gorgeous store bought
To celebrate her sister, she felt her party was a fake
If they tried to send the message to let this depressed
child know
That they cared about her, it surely did not show
Everything set up so well for her sister
She felt there was no celebration at all really for her
Nothign was wanted of her until
There was a chore to be tended to, then she lost her will
For just about everything, she no longer cared
There became an extreme lack in the amount of feelings she
She developed a negative outlook on life
When asked to do something, she'd argue, yell and fight
Her hatred the strongest when she was at home
She'd either leave or seclude herself, she always was alone
Finally her hatred and anger made her snap
And she threw away more than half of her crap
What used to be dear to her, now was dumb shit
She thought, "It's time to grow up and get rid of it"
Much of her free time was spent babysitting
Her need to be free, demolished, and in return she gets
Her sister wants to go to town, spend time with their mother
While looking at this lonely girl, you might think, "What
about her?"

It is true love is something you cannot buy
Yet I have this single question why...
Your family is supposed to love you...correct, am I not?
Then how is it my sister and mother seem to have forgot?