camil......a

confused and yet so agrivated
2002-11-08 14:42:42 (UTC)

dear god please take me away from this place

yep so sumtimes my life tends to suck. i just woke up and
already my head hurts...so sumtimes chelsea says that sum
how evryines alittle jealous of me or what not. well i
guess it doesnt seem like it...b.c evry one seems to be
treaty me like shit which doesnt make me feels very good.
but hey me being sad seems to be making everyone happy so
if thats wat gets them off then whatever. im sooorry that
im fucking happy. atleast, i was. just b.c every ones
deppressed they seem to want to drag me down w/ them...and
thats kind of shitty. i also go on to hear that i have
never cared about chelsea...which in my oppinion is not true
what so ever. yea i really dont care about her right? thats
why i alway deffend her and every time ian tries to yell @
her i stop him and tell her that shes right. that why my
own fucking boyfriend sumtimes feels like she makes me more
happy and that i like her more than him. so yea if all
those thing that i hate her then ok fine i hate her... i no
chelsea and i no that no matter what i say shes still going
to think that bullshit so hey. if thats what makes her
happy then ok, im not going to fight it or try to convince
her b.c its just a waist of energy. if me being the bad guy
makes her feel better then hey whatever ill make her
happy...it might be a really sick and twisted and fucked up
way of making urself happy...but if thats what makes her
happy then by all means..let her be happy. apparently me
telling the truth to my friends is bad then too fucking bad
ok? im not going to hold my tongue just b/c hey "theyre
deppressed they already feel bad enough as is" hell
no...and you no what ive been making other ppl shut up for
much too long..evry times ian is going to go tell sum off..
i stop him and im like "hey dont do it shes already angry
and what not" i stop him from yelling @ chelsea.. but hey i
dont lover her right? i dont fucking care for her at
all..in fact the reason why i prey for her to be happy and
for her to get a boyfriend is the perfect example of me
hating her...but hey whatever i dont fucking care anymore.




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