Fay Mus

moments
2002-11-08 14:01:37 (UTC)

Deleted

Well just wrote extra long diary entry and then my computer
ate it so here is me starting again.

I wont repeat what I had written as it was crap.

Im sat here with curlers in my hair so that I can be curly
locks when I go ut tonight. I really truly think this is
another sad and crap attempt at making self more
attractive.. I know I hsould carry on life til someone
turns up but I feel like it has been going on a bit too
long now, without ANY interest at all popping up, not even
a sniff of interest or a maybe..honestly.. Although I am
laying all hopes on the fact that in one months time when I
look at self in the morror again I will be happy as Ian my
new weights and cardio guru will fix me by then, then in 6
months time you wont even know me, I will be one of those
people who intimidates others in a gym by wearing lycra and
not having rolls.. what am I saying.. I hereby swear never
to wear lycra.. I promise.

Ok what else to divulge.. managed to not speak to father
all day today.. not going to yell at me for being
inadequate when he was truly in the wrong. We both know he
was wrong as does mother, which is why he has been v quiet
today and not tried to either yell at me or make jokes...
Mum finds it particularly amusing when he knows he is
wrong..

well next question is what to wear tonight.. its
beeeyootiful outside.. it is around 29 degrees with a nice
breeze.. couldnt be nicer.. and honestly the song thingy
the mosque is singing right now is rather nice and
relaxing... not at all like the annoying wail we get at
4am. Have just had realsisation that it is half 5
therefore it is iftar so it is a special call to prayer.. I
like that im english but I know that now..

Hmm maybe am finally losing ties to England.. there only
remains a few people and a few places that give me any
desire to go back.

One of whom is AG I miss her dearly more sometimes than
others and while I have seen her twice she is making no
move to come here. Im pretty upset about it really, i have
been here 5 years and she hasnt been.. she keeps
promising.. I dont think she will ever come.. its a selfish
thing I suppose cos she can go on holiday with ian at the
drop of a hat but not to dubai.. and she cant afford to
come but she had her nails done and buys new clothes and
has bikin waxes and pays 100 quid for oakleys.. i know its
silly, but all the girls here have had there friends out
and i just really wanted to show her my life here.. hmm
curler just fell out.. a sign to stop ranting I think..

Well I shall sign off and write some more tomorrow

ciao

Moi




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