Crazy in Blue

Singing In the Rain or A downpouring
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2002-11-08 10:44:19 (UTC)

Cry Me A River

SINCE I ALWAYS NAME MY DIARY ENTRY FROM A SONG, I THOUGHT
IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO USE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE'S CRY ME A
RIVER. THE GIST OF THE SONG, DON'T COME TO ME NOW TALKING
ABOUT HOW SORRY YOU ARE FOR WHAT HAPPENED - I'M NOT
LISTENING TO YOU NO MORE. GOOD SHIT.

SO WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME, OF COURSE SORROITY STUFF, BUT
IT'S REALLY UNIMPORTANT. SO MANY CHANGES ARE HAPPENING IN
MY LIFE, IT'S AMAZING. I AM CONTINUING TO SEE WHAT GOD HAS
PLANNED FOR ME. I DON'T ALWAYS UNDERSTAND IT, BUT I STILL
GO THOUGH IT, BELIEVING THAT THE TEST IS JUST SO I CAN GIVE
A TESTIMONY ABOUT HOW I GOT OUT OF IT.

I'M GETTING BETTER ABOUT PUTTING MYSELF PLACES THAT I
REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE. IT IS TEACHING ME ABOUT MY
COMFORT ZONE, AND WHERE IT IS. I JUST DON'T HAVE TIME TO
TRY TO MAKE OTHERS COMFORTABLE, WHEN THEY ARE NOT GOING TO
DO THE SAME FOR ME. IT'S UNFAIR TO ME, I FEEL, TO HAVE TO
EXPLAIN MYSELF TO PEOPLE WHO REALLY ARE NOT GOING TO LISTEN
ANYWAY. SO, INSTEAD, I JUST PRAY ABOUT IT, AND EVERYTHING
IS GOING TO BE FINE.

GUYS - THEY ARE SO DUMB, LIKE FOR REAL STUPID. WHAT KIND
OF GUY TELLS A GIRL, YOU ARE COOL, BUT I CAN'T FUCK WIT YOU
BECAUSE YOU ARE A VIRGIN, AND THERE ARE ALWAYS EMOTIONS AND
STUFF GOING ON. WHAT THE FUCK!?! THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE
SENSE. I'M NOT TRYING TO GET ON YOU; I JUST NEED A DATE TO
A FORMAL. IT'S NOT THAT DEEP, YOU ARE GOING ANYWAY, YOU
MIGHT AS WELL GO WITH ME. SO TIRED OF IGNORANCE, AND MY
VIRGINITY BEING A BIG DEAL. IT'S REALLY NOT. IS SEX THAT
BIG A PART OF A RELATIONSHIP THAT IF I HAVE NEVER HAD SEX
NOTHING WILL WORK. I DIDN'T EVEN SAY I WAS NOT GOING TO
HAVE SEX IN THE NEAR FUTURE. HE REALLY DOESN'T KNOW ME
ENOUGH TO MAKE THAT ASSUMPTION ABOUT ME. DUDES ARE STUPID,
THAS ALL I KNOW.

FUCKED UP THING, HE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
MY TYPE. LIKE I KNEW I HAD A TYPE, AND I KNEW WHAT IT
WAS? BUT NEVER HAD A MET SOMEONE THAT ACTUALLY IS MY TYPE,
AND THAT IS JUST THE EPITOME OF IT ALL. IT MAKES ME MAD
ALL THE THINGS THAT I CAN RECALL, EVEN AS I AM WRITING THIS
DIARY ENTRY, THAT MAKE ME WANT TO JUST SCREAM IN
FRUSTRATION. THE LIPS, AND THE FACIAL HAIR, AND ER'THING.
IT WAS ALL ON POINT, AND HE TALKS SUCH GOOD GAME. I JUST
DON'T GET WHY FOLKS TALK SHIT, THEN DON'T BACK IT UP.
UNLESS YOU ARE THE RON JEREMY OF OHIO, DON'T BE WORRIED
ABOUT ME CATCHING FEELINGS. IF I CATCH THEM, THEN I GOT
THEM, AND WE CAN DEAL WITH THAT WHEN IT COMES UP. UNTIL
THEN, WHY NOT JUST GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER, AND HAVE FUN?
WHY MAKE IT SO DEEP? MAYBE EVENTUALLY I WILL ASK HIM ALL
THESE QUESTIONS, BUT FOR NOW, IT'S JUST IN THIS DIARY.

UNTIL STUPIDITY LURKS AGAIN,

CRAZY IN BLUE


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