Shantie

Finding my Light
2002-11-08 04:09:04 (UTC)

My Lost Yellow Bunni

Today I saw a little bunny. She was so cute and full of so much
promise, but as time made its rounds I began noticing something
forming around the little thing. At first they were just lines, but
the lines grew and became walls. Soon an outline of a door appeared,
but before I could react the door appeared and closed. I was shut
out and so was everyone else around her. My bunny was lost and I
couldn't find a way to help her find a way home.
As the years past my soul and spirit had been murdered so many
times that I lost count, but the bunny still remained lost. From
afar I witness her soul and spirit dieing also. My senses ran wild
as I felt negativity consum her entire being, all along looking at me
as if I could never understand.
She doesn't know though. The thousands upon thousands of burdens
I must walk with everyday and the knowledge that I am helpless and
broken from things I've come to know. How could she ever know? So
lost in her bubble, dreaming of fairytales and not stepping out from
herself to create her story.
Now who's the better actor? I have to realize that I am the
better actor and I'm stabbed everytime I must perform. From the shy
little girl that never made waves, I forced myself to do things I
would never normally do. Now from much years of training and still
continuing, I've become happier and satisfied with life. Though at
times I break down and prey that the world will stop turning, I
remember that I can't let depression take hold of me once again and
that the weak person I once was is no more.
My demons still walk with me and try to bring me down whenever
possible, but I know something they don't. Life is a bitch. We all
know this. it's how we deal with it is how we learn to set aside
issues that don't really matter and focus on the big picture. I will
love once again and someday tend to a family of my own. I just have
to remember to not give up and things will get better, but only if
you make the effort.
So now I stay back and watch the little bunny continue to die and
hope maybe she'll figure it out like I did. For now I can only hope
and pretent like I have no clue what's going on.