[email protected];--
2001-08-13 17:59:50 (UTC)

Questions only dumb people would ask:

* How do you get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the

* How do you get off a non-stop flight?

* How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?

* How do you throw away a garbage can?

* How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work
in the mornings?

* How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck
could chuck wood?

* If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still
his Walkman?

* If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people
wear earmuffs?

* If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil

* If I save time, when do I get it back?

* If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the

* If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants
over his trousers?

* If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the
whales look like the way they do?

* If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still

* If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking

* If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

* If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

* If you take an Oriental person and spin him around
several times, does he become disoriented?

* If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

* Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw

* What do people in China call their good plates?

* What do you call a bedroom with no bed in it?

* What do you call a male ladybug?

* What do you say if you're talking to God, and he

* What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

* What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where
do you tell them to go?

* What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

* What makes cheese so confidential that we actually need
cheese shredders?

* When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

* When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses?

* When they first invented the clock, how did they know
what time it was to set it to?

* Where are the germs that cause *good* breath?

* Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons?

* Why are all blackboards called that when some of them
are green?

* Why are they called "stands" when they're made for

* Why do ballet dancers dance on their toes? Why doesn't
the company just hire taller dancers?

* Why do people tell you when they are speechless?

* Why do they give you a tape with a VCR to tell you how
to use it?

* Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them?

* Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we
are already there?

* Why do your feet smell and your nose runs?

* Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic...
shouldn't they already know you're coming?

* Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?

* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

* Why don't they just use fattest man in the world for a
hockey goalie?

* Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins

* Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist,
but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

* Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

* Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a

* Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest,
but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?

* Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and
dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

* If your scared half to death twice, what happens?