that *special* one in a million

*night n day*
2001-08-13 07:40:37 (UTC)

i juss wanna *explode*

There's so much goin on right now... with summer ending and
moving into high skewl next year ((which im scared as hell
about))... to moving from my home in the san fernando
valley, to simi valley in two weeks... to this new
boyfriend that i am juss SOO confused with what to do
about... to debating whether or not i should get my belly
button pierced behind mom's back since the guy i know that
does piercings, professionally, is tha homie, or juss wait
till im 16... to being confused with how im feeling about
leaving my friends-- im juss not sure if im happy OR
sad! ...and ... there's juss so much on mi mind right
now... it juss makes me feel like i'm bout to explode!

Well, summer's been great, but looks like im back off ta
school on the 29th of this month. I've spent it at my dad's
house in nothern cali., part of it 3 different cities in
florida wit my cousins, a weeks at orange coast college for
cheerleading camp, a few days up at our cabin in big bear,
lotsa shoppin, movies, n trips to tha beach wit all my
buds... but now it looks like its all over... and
honestly... wouldn't you be juss a LIL scared to spend your
first day of your freshman year not knowing NE*ONE x-cept
for your senior-stepsister who's gotta reputation as the
biggest bitch that every1 talks shit about???? yeah, well,
i'm a lil scared. Plus, i'm juss SO confused with how i
feel about leavin my friends! am i happy?? or am i sad?? i
seriously have such mixed feelings right now...

Okay, there's this guy ...troy... and
well, i'm not too sure if i really like him... and i know
that sounds lame n all, but u shouldn't go out wit someone
if you don't like them right? but i kinda DO like him, in
this hella wierd n twisted way... ok im juss confusing
myself! Ne*ways, i KNOW i wont be breakin up wit him
ne*time soon, but im one of those girls who either HAS to
have a man or juss CANT STAND bein taken, n have to be
single so i could mess around... well, right now im feelin
i GOTTA have a boyfriend, so im kinda thinkin that my heart
only feels that i "like" troy because im in need of a
boyfriend, and he happens to be the one right in front of
me.ok this is pretty confusing... well maybe... juss
maybe... i'll find a cutie who'll treat me right who i feel
juss right wit ... like i did wit bobby on 1*11 (january
11th 2001)) ...juss
maybe ;)g2g... i'm gettin sleepie... i need feedback guys :)
-britt