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2001-08-13 04:10:21 (UTC)

Mothar Faulker

I stood up a guy I planned to go out with last friday. I am
glad I did in a way not to hurt his feelings, but he was
expecting me to put out and that made me feel cheap.
(fucker) I acually spent the evening admist the heat
waiting, for tony to meet me at his storage because I have
my drumset in there! I told him to go ahead and keep every
thing that is in his storage, but I got a call from my
cousin and she told me that they were in there, fucking
shit...oops. He never showed..big suprise there. Before
that I dropped off my daughter at her daddy's and had to
wait for him too..Then Alan wanted me to visit him in
Vancouver beings how I was passing thru there. He took me a
great dinner, we camped out in his cousin's back yard and
we drank wine. We talked for ages..He has really put fourth
the effort to get a good job, and he confesses to me that
he has been doing it for us. He wants us back again, and to
be a good provider, and be dependable. On a weekend
afternoon he makes 300 painting exterior house..and just a
bit less during the weekday. He showered me with
affection..It was so sweet. He makes my soul smile, but I
confessed to him that I will always have that lingering
doubt about somone like him. I apoligized, but he forgives
me. I am scared to give it another round with him. Fucking
shit. The mechanic came to see me at work twice
yesterday. He got a new rig to show off to me and explained
why he hasn't called or been around. I told him he didn't
have to explain that to me..He is a free man! I am a free
woman. He laughed and grinned, and although he is good to
be around, he was drinking then too..Fucking shit. I am
confused. I failed my test for automotive knowlege, so I
won't be getting a raise or a possible advancement. I am
getting bitter at this job. Fucking shit.