ultimateEMOgurl

So much for my happy ending...
2002-11-06 15:19:53 (UTC)

Good times...

Last night was a pretty good night for me..even though jeff
scared me half to death by signing right off after tellin
me that sumthin was wrong and he had to go and couldnt
talk. But then later he called and explained himself. He
had gotten into a fight with sumone and had to make it
better. So ya...we had a nice convo i guess you could say.
He said he was gonna get me sumthin for xmas but i told he
was a retard and that he cant get me anything. But that was
online on the phone we...i dont know. He was makin me
laugh...which isnt that hard. lol. Then he said his
lil "sayin" lol...if you know him you would know...and im
like you havent said that to me in forever. Hes like ya i
know...good times good times. OK you what i realized he
shouldnt talk about our past with me...on the phone at
least. Cuz i got sorta silent after that and hes like whats
wrong??? You got so silent. See i cant react how i would
normal react to thinkin about that...cuz i mean then he
would know. Also later in our convo he was talkin about
sumthin that happened when we went to go see Austin Powers
and i didnt realli remember quite what happened...and hes
like oo im heart broken! lol. Then like he had to explain
it to me and ya ya ya. But NO he shouldnt talk to me about
that cuz it just brings back all the memorys and ill get
silent. Like i did. I mean i cant hear about these things
from him. I didnt think it would be hard..i even wanted to
talk to him about these things...but i cant. argh. I wish
things werent so hard. But we had a nice convo i guess. I
miss talkin to him everyday. I miss the comfort that i had
in him...and know that with out a doubt he would call every
single night...i mean he would call even if he couldnt talk
just to say good night. I MISS THAT!!! that is what i found
so great in him i mean so caring and blah blah blah. I told
laila that i think that ive fallen again...lol. And shes
like NOOOOOOOOO YOU CANT! and im like i just cant help it
so shes like well ok go ahead and fall again but tell him
that he messes with you again hes gonna have to deal with
me. Man...thanks laila! ur such a great friend. :) OK well
i must stop writin cuz its makin me think and i dont want
to think. SO i will write again sumtime soon! later people.




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