Jessica T.

how i see life...
2002-11-06 03:48:51 (UTC)

myself

i don't feel like i've been myself lately. for example
today i just didn't give a shit for class and i wore pj's
to it. you may be like..."so?" well this is the class
with josh in it and i usually try to look nice for
it/him. and i totally wasn't in the mood to talk to
anyone, including josh. why does one person who you think
is no longer in your life just waltze back in and turn it
upside down? i hate that. and i hate how it affects
me...and how he affects me. grrr. i still do like josh
but i don'tknow what my deal is. i just need to get
unstuck on this one guy and move on like i should have 3
months ago. what makes brandyn so great anywways? other
than the fact that he gave me my first kiss but thats
about it. i should know that i can do better. he's a
nice guy and everything but he toys with emotions and
thats not cool. he's what you call the "sweet jerk" the
one that is so sweet to you and says that he's a jerk and
continues to tell you that you didn't deserve it and all
that other shit. but then doesn't follow through on his
words and is a complete jerk and ignores you. yuk. i
need to get over this boy, and fast. so i can move on and
see all the great guys that i could possibly be missing.
this stupid boy is making me blind! he need to get out of
my head. alot of times i found myself thinking "is this
as good as it gets? will i ever like someone the way i
liked him?" i seriously thought these things....thats
just because i 'm a stupid girl with too many emotions
running through her mind and reading into things and over
analyzing things. will i ever out grow this habit?




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