mental illness, yes it is real..

isn't life grand ??
2002-11-06 01:58:32 (UTC)

Nothing to hide......

Ok, now lisa is upset because I changed my passwords after
I found out that she was lookin for stuff in my isp. she
knew my password and she says that if i have nothing to
hide, why change password. Well, the answer is simple, I
trust her, and I have no idea as to her comp. password, i9
dont want to know it , i love her & i trust her , i have no
reason to not trust her. BUT and this is a big BUT, i have
nothing to hide , BUT , I also dont expect her to be goin
behind my back to try to find things to cause trouble about.
She is getting very paranoid because when we fight, i clam
up, that is my nature and i know it is wrong. I am not
happy about it, and I really wish i could change. I do love
Lisa , I want things to work out, I pray that she hasnt
given up on us yet. She is goint to her counselor tommorow,
I want to go with her WE NEED TO TALK, and I dont know how
to get her to talk to me without it turning into another
fight if there isnt a mediator there.
She says she trusts me, but she goes lookin for trouble, so
why shouldnt i change passwords ?
I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman, I have
said this many times, and yet i feel that she does not
believe me. We are in some serious financial trouble, and I
am gettin feeling that she is only going along because she
is feeling bad for the situation we are in.
God, Please Hear me, I need lisa to know how much ilove
her, that i want her to be in my life forever.

Lisa , I swear that I love you , please believe me......