TheTornado

The inner most thoughts of Jo
2002-11-06 01:36:16 (UTC)

Deep in thought

After talking to someone today that has known me since i
was knee high to a grasshopper; i realized that i haven't
changed much, if any at all, since i was a kid. I'm still
that dorky, joking, naive, little dreamer that i was, and
always have been. Is that a good thing...to not change
hardly at all as you grow up? I look at all the people i
grew up with...the one's that made it this far...they have
all changed in many ways. Then i start to think and ask
myself...the one's who didn't make it...would they have
changed by now? I miss Lee so much. I know we didn't see
eachother very much, but just knowing he's not here anymore
kills me inside. i can't help but think..only if i were
there. I would have stopped him...it wouldn't have
happened. 14 years worth of memories is all i have now. I
didn't get to say goodbye, or tell him how much i cared,
even if i didn't act like it all the time. I just hope he
knows that i did...that he was very important to me. With
winter approaching, all i can think about is the snowball
fights and sledding we all used to do. All the kids on
Wyndale court out seeing how much trouble we could cause.
Praying for school to be cancelled so we could continue to
contruct our snow fort. I wish i could go back to those
days. Back then, i could actually feel my life. Back then
i didn't think about how much easier it would be to just go
to sleep and never wake.




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