fionasunshine

*

I finally gave my journal name to mary, i hadn't because i
was afraid of what she would think of journal entry number
2... and she reacted to it... and i'm glad she knows...
and, um... okay, i want to share this because this is the
biggest thing that could have happened to me... and i'm
really happy!!! Mary's the best...

Yourmom994u: yay!
katylovely: hi
Yourmom994u: its carly!
katylovely: yeah... it's me
Yourmom994u: whats up?
katylovely: nothing
katylovely: upo upir|?
katylovely: and you? (that's what i ment)
Yourmom994u: lol
katylovely: yeah... a bit drunk and pregnant...
Yourmom994u: listening to cake
Yourmom994u: whoa
katylovely: CAKE!!!!
Yourmom994u: whos the daddy
Yourmom994u: yes!!!
katylovely: lead singer of cake
Yourmom994u: oh my
Yourmom994u: way to go
Yourmom994u: ;-)
katylovely: yeah... i'm good
Yourmom994u: yes, yes you are
Yourmom994u: did dustin come up?
katylovely: yes but no?
Yourmom994u: you didnt get to see him?
katylovely: um... in binghamton while i was in darian lake
katylovely: hey... did you check your email?
Yourmom994u: yeah
Yourmom994u: i started to cry when i was reading yours
Yourmom994u: thank you
katylovely: hmmm?
katylovely: why cry?
Yourmom994u: something you said in one of them
Yourmom994u: the second one
Yourmom994u: i gtg
Yourmom994u: order pizza
Yourmom994u: ill probably be back
katylovely: oh... ok
Yourmom994u: and ill write you an email back
Yourmom994u: too
Yourmom994u: thank you
katylovely: okay
Yourmom994u: byesy
katylovely: bye
Yourmom994u signed off at 7:40:31 PM.
Yourmom994u signed on at 8:15:17 PM.
katylovely: hey
katylovely: good pizza?
Yourmom994u: hey yup
Yourmom994u: gtg
katylovely: no!!! you just got on!
katylovely: why did you cry?
Yourmom994u: ill be back and ill talk to you later i swear
i really want to talk to you
katylovely: okya

Auto response from Yourmom994u:
eating......................................................
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Yourmom994u: im back

Auto response from katylovely: ah... tv... the legal drug
of choice!

Yourmom994u: but now you are getting high
Yourmom994u: ?
katylovely: hi
katylovely: high high high
Yourmom994u: yay
katylovely: so... why did you cry?
Yourmom994u: because, i felt so bad, then with everything
thats happened recently, i just felt worse
katylovely: what happened?
katylovely: why?
Yourmom994u: you are such a great person, i dont know how i
could ever think that
Yourmom994u: trevor and i broke up kinda
katylovely: oh, i'm sorry!
Yourmom994u: me too
katylovely: i wish i were there so i could give you a hug
Yourmom994u: i dont know what to say
katylovely: why did you feel worse when you read my email?
Yourmom994u: not your email
Yourmom994u: your journal
katylovely: oh.
Yourmom994u: i was so happy when i got your email
katylovely: the journal entry...
katylovely: i'm sorry.
Yourmom994u: its okay
katylovely: did you read about the dream?
Yourmom994u: i just.....grrrrrr! frustrated, because of
everything, and I read that and i was like, "what am I
doing?" and i just felt so bad and i still feel bad and I
love you, you are a great friend, and i promise you wont
lose me
katylovely: i know... i was just afraid back then that you
were mad at me and i wanted to do anything i could to
change it, because will told me that you were frusterated
and thought johanna and i were flirting with trevor... and
that just sucks to be linked with johanna and i couldn't
bear to know that you thought that about me... so i did the
next thing possible... i ignored him and like on the
bowling night... i tried to avoid him as much as possible,
so you wouldn't think that i was trying something, and i am
so sorry if you have ever thought that i was trying to
steal him from you or anything like that becasue you don't
desearve that.
Yourmom994u: i dont deserve anything
katylovely: dont' say that... you deserve to be happy.
Yourmom994u: im so sorry
Yourmom994u: sure
katylovely: you do
Yourmom994u: carly, you are NOTHING like johanna, i never
meant it to be like this
Yourmom994u: i dont want it this way
Yourmom994u: im so sorry
katylovely: let's just forget it and move on... sound good?
Yourmom994u: move on from what?
katylovely: move on from... i don't know... just start the
new year as Twiggy and Debra... and have fun... and not get
upset at eachother or anything and not have another fight
or any of this shit that the last 3 or 4 months brought...
bury all that stuff and never bring it back
Yourmom994u: i dont know if i can forget some things carly
Yourmom994u: i wish i could
katylovely: oh.
Yourmom994u: but being friends with you shouldnt be
effected by anything else
Yourmom994u: noooooooo
Yourmom994u: i dont mean it about you
katylovely: well i was talking about us... our
friendship... all the things that came between us this
year... it's gone
katylovely: in the past.
Yourmom994u: thank you
Yourmom994u: youre great
katylovely: i can't let friends go... it's impossible...
especially with you... you're too cool and fun and special
to let go. you're the best
Yourmom994u: omg
Yourmom994u: carly
Yourmom994u: thank you, i dont know what else to say
katylovely: me neither...
katylovely: wow... emotions
Yourmom994u: theres so much i could tell you, like what
that means to me, or how much i needed to hear that right
now, but im just going to say thank you cause im crying
really hard
Yourmom994u: i gtg, ill brb tho
Yourmom994u signed off at 8:57:38 PM.

uh huh... and i say, thank God for Mary... I love her.
(and i haven't lost her friendship so in your face
dream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

(have to add in that i love you dustin and i can't wait
until i see you because i know sometime someday you'll
finally come up here or i'll be in the pennsylvania
direction and we can finally have that hug that we have
both been hoping and wishing for!)

so for now carly-lovers (which there are some! whoa!) I say
i love you too and till i write again... C YA!

~fiona, katylovely, carly, caroline j.