camicazy

over

i think i have already more or less gotten over the fact
that there are some people whom i don't like reading my
diary. i suppose since they've proved themselves harmless,
and have not done really much to blackmail me, i've felt
more comfortable even though i lie, somewhat naked, to
people who might easily attempt to exploit what they know.

that is one sacrifice that i must make i suppose. to be
heard, i must risk letting other people i don't like hear
me. to be heard, i must risk being ridiculed. and to be
heard, i must risk getting hurt for what i feel strongly
about.

come to think of it, most people know me through my words.
and not because i talk to them and tell them things about
myself. there are only so few people whom i can really.
honestly talk to.

perhaps i would rather keep it that way. maintain distance.
sometimes i have a problem with letting people get too
close to me.

i was hoping to write something beautiful tonight. but i
shall leave it at that for now. good night to everyone.