mental illness, yes it is real..

isn't life grand ??
2002-11-03 23:41:15 (UTC)

how do i go on ???

i just read lisa's last post and i , like her am also
drained. she snapped at me today, and i know it was just
out of frustration, but , i cant talk to her, if i do , i
know i will break down. I am presently med free, no
antidepressents, no antianxiety meds in my system at all,
and this is a very very bad thing for me. my insurance says
i maxed out my perscription benefits for the year, so i
cant get any more meds until after jan 1 , and i am really
havin to beat the shit outta myself to hang on . I love
lisa and her kids and mine and i am doin my best to keep
everyone happy, but i am runnin out of string, and i have
no clue as to what i do next. i need lisa , and she needs
me, and kids need me , and i am, i know how bad
lisa feels, cause i feel same way, i am only functioning
because i have to . if i could get away with just crawling
in a corner, believe me i would.
right now, i am on verge of tears, and i am almost always
like this now. I need another vacation on a nice tropical
beach, lisa took me to beach over summer for the 1st time
and i am hooked on livin there.
God, I know that you are listening, please dont fail lisa
or me, we need you soo badly right now.....
If anyone can offer any suggestions as to how to cope in a
situation like this I am totally open to all......