belladonna

bella
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2001-08-11 04:43:28 (UTC)

feels like a monday

this is my first entry. hopefully it wont be too boring.
well, i am married...25..female...that's that. went to work
at 7 this morning. things seemed okay for awhile but my
husband kept calling constantly telling me what he was
going to spend money on when we need to save as much as
possible to move next week. but he wont ever listen to me.
at this point im wondering if im gonna be the one to
declare bankruptcy. i never want to have to do that.
didnt hear from my old supervisor like i thought i would.
he said he would call. im having probs with my new super.
It seems like once you learn the way one person wants
things run..someone else comes along and changes it. oh
well it's not my company. then me and hubby got into a
fight..again. he asked me if i wanted to just keep the
trailer and he would move in to the apts. i said no. we got
in a big fight. then he wanted to know if pete and amy
wanted to come over. then he asked me to give him or pete a
bj. im tired of feeling like a whore that he is pimping out
to people. then after they left..he acted like he didnt
want me anywhere near him. his way of punishing me i guess.
i dont want to do anything with his friends..i am not
attracted to them! i already feel icky enough about my
sexuality i dont know need to feel worse. i have problems.
My parents arent speaking to me. its kinda a relief. they
disown me every three months over something. im tired of
it. i cant take their shit anymore. Yet my brother is still
living at home and has no job. i have had a job since i was
fifteen but i'll never hear anything about that. or
anything else good i ve done. Sometimes i wonder if anyone
would notice if i was gone. Probably not ...hubby would be
at peace.Everyone would be happy
When things are going good why cant they stay that way?
well i am lonely and dont really have any friends so if
anyone wants to write me feel free...b


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