as the Oval turns
2001-08-11 02:53:07 (UTC)

Cincinnati and Cedar Point

Song of the Season - "Take These Chances" - DMB

Part 1 - Cincinnati

I went to Cincinnati last week to visit Jenna, and it was
really cool. It looks like a smaller-scale version of
Detroit, truthfully, but with a small touch of Maryland
hills. Figured out that Pacey was kind of perpetrating the
whole city thing, though...his district reminds me of the
suburban/rural area that Bud was from. But no
matter...back to the trip itself, though, God showed me a
lot while being there. I was depressed, mainly b/c I felt
sort of insecure and I didn't understand why Pacey and I
have such a complicated "friendship." So Jenna basically
said that it's probably b/c we're both trying to stradle
the fence, but we're stradling different fences.
Throughout our "friendship," Pacey has been wanting to be
my friend but not wanting to lead me on. I, on the other
hand, have been trying to figure out if he's my friend or
if he's being fake and trite. Ain't that some stuff. But
Jenna also said that there's two sides to the whole thing,
that Pacey hasn't been right but neither have I. She said
that for all the talking, whining, and complaining I've
done, he should get a lot of credit for being in a drama-
filled relationship with a woman he's not sleeping with.
Hate to say it, but there's some truth to that. But still,
I was upset b/c I felt like I just wanted for Pacey and I
to have a normal friendship and not always feel like I have
to second-guess my actions, or his, for that matter. The
next day, we went to church, and the pastor talked about
having faith, and knowing and believing that God works
things out. It really got me to thinking about everything,
especially how things are with Pacey. I know it's got to
resolve itself somehow. Then again, I'm not so sure...but
I do know that nothing lasts forever except eternity. I
think that for some reason, God has kept us together. I've
fallen out with people over much less drama than what I've
gone through with him. I think that if anything, the drama
has made us closer instead of tearing us apart. I think
that in that respect, Pacey feels the same way.
But do you know what else was jacked up, though? Pacey knew I
was coming to town for the weekend, he had asked me for all the
details a couple of days before I went. When I was there, I did try
to call him but he wasn't there, so I left a message with his sister
(I think it was his sister). Why did he not try to call me back
until Jenna and I pulled out the driveway Sunday afternoon to go up
to the bus station for me to go back to Columbus? Literally, as
soon as we left, he called, and Jenna's mom told him that I just
left. I know he works, but he doesn't work 24-7, though! Boys...

Part 2 - Cedar Point

Tomorrow is the Cedar Point trip, and it'll be Pacey and
some of our friends, and he'll be picking me up at 7:30 in
the morn (it's 10:40 pm now). We'll be out there all day,
and I'm really looking forward to it, believe it or not. I
love rollercoasters, they're pretty fun and stuff. I'm
also looking forward to seeing my buds and peeps, yay!
Well, lemme take my butt to bed, for the big day tomorrow:)