i'll tell you later

don't read this

fu·tile adj. Having no useful result; Trifling and
frivolous; idle; Of no importance; answering no useful end;
useless; vain; worthless

so yeah - i feel like crap - whatever - it doesn't matter
no does it - i was thinking again today as i was driving
that i am looking forward to geting out of school and being
on myown and having to actually live - i'll have to worry
about actualy things and not just all this BS college crap
that is happenning - and i was also thinking again that i
wouldn't mind if that maniac who was driving on my side of
the road hit me - i'd probably get hurt pretty bad - but at
least i'd know i was living . . . . in stead of all this
boring crap that i go through all the time - or maybe i'd
end up in a coma and then i could take a little vacation -
or maybe i'd get amesiea - that would actually be fun - i
could start my life over again . . . . . maybe i would't
feel so shitty all the time - and i'd see who was actually
my frined and stuff too - somethign bad is going to happen
soon - i can feel it . . . .things have been spiraling
downward for the past 3 months or so . . . . i dunno - i
gotta eat and then be a taxi for my friend at least i won't
be alone - but lately i'm begining to think that i might
actually be alone when i'm with ehr . . . .which would suck
beasue there might be only one other person who i don't
feel alone when i am around - i dunno - whatver -