Nick's Journal
2002-11-02 04:18:12 (UTC)

Worst Night Ever

Friday Nov. 1st

Here I am sitting in my room alone and listening to
Dashboard Confessionals. For everyone who knows that
music, you can pretty much guess how tonight has gone. It
started off when we were supposed to get together to do a
biology project, but one of the group members never showed
up so that foiled our plan to get the project done. Hell,
I don't even know if I'm doing good in that class or not.
So I go back to my dorm and there is nothing to do. Later
I met up with some friends and we went to go eat at Johnny
Rockets, an old 50's style restaurant. I guess it was ok,
but I didn't have that much fun with everyone. Probably
because I get annoyed with people very easily, and always
need something new. Hanging around with all the people on
my floor is fun, but not when you do it EVERY SINGLE F!
On top of that, I don't even want to say too much, but
I girl I like is getting banged by a friend of mine so
that was a nice suprise. Plus, two of my other friends
are now arrested and in jail because of underage
drinking. FURTHERMORE!!!!! I have no beer, and am so
pissed because we were supposed to get drunk tonight.
Whatever...I'm really starting to hate it here. I wish I
was back home with all my friends, the way things used to
be. At least then I was happier. But not like I can
change that now.
I've been thinking about that girl who was suicidal
back home a lot. I'm keeping a read on her journal, and
I've tried to talk to her but she's never on-line when I

OH! My friend Big Dan deserted me for the weekend without
saying anything. He had me under the impression that his
girlfriend was coming here this weekend, but he
disappeared so Im guessing he went up there. And that was
just great for me as he is probably the only person here I
really get along with. My roommate is gone, which gives
me the room all to myself, but not like that will be of
much use.

There is this other girl that I really like, but fuck....I
doubt she realizes it, although I'm having a friend of
mine feel out the situation for me. But for some reason,
I think its just gonna turn out how I expect it too. Its
funny, because when everyone has a problem they run to
me...and I always say "Don't worry. Things will turn out
for the best." Well fuck that. In my case, there's never
a happy ending. I'm starting to think my entire life was
meant to be a tragedy.

As stated in the anime Princess Mononoke..."Sometimes I
think the gods are laughing at me."

There is nothing to do tonight. Everyone left earlier who
went out, and some other kids are watching a movie that I
have already seen and have no interest to see. Anyone
else who I could hang out with is either drinking or
having sex in their rooms, so thats just wonderful.

If anyone reads this, don't get the wrong impression of
me. This is a place where I can right whatever the hell I
want to without anyone harassing me for it. If you don't
like it then fuck off because I really don't give two
shits about you and your ideas about me.

Im so pissed off right now. I can't even begin to explain
it. So now I will just sit here in the dark and listen to
my dashboard confessionals...and wallow in despair.

I miss my best friend...
He'd be able to help cheer me up right now. But I haven't
talked to him forever, and it scares me...because we've
been friends since first grade and I think that we are
becoming less of friends because of college....

Thanksgiving break can't come soon enough. I just want to
be back home with my friends and family. I can't wait to
get the hell away from this school for more than a petty
three day...

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